Most lessons we learn over time, or by doing it the hard way, or via social embarrassment. And then there’s some lessons we never learn (“that last shot seemed like such a good idea”). But if there’s anything I’ve learned lately it’s that my kids know more than I give them credit for. I may have to teach them how to pee without touching anything in a porta-potty, but I’m pretty sure they’ve got these 10 lessons down already.
1. Take care of the Earth
Lila says: “Plant a seed and it will grow. And sometimes it grows those hot spicy things my parents are so obsessed with.”
2. If you’re gonna take a selfie, learn how to do it correctly.
The annoying kissy duck-face phenomenon is out, apparently. That I can handle.
3. Eat your veggies…
“If I have to eat this, you can suck it up, too.”
4. …But don’t overeat.
Dang you, serotonin!
5. Let ‘em know who’s boss.
If you want to be the Alpha, never show fear.
6. Rock your style.
There’s so much that confuses the eye here, but her happiness is clear. You could make anything look good with a smile. Anything except men’s crocheted shorts, that is:
7. Practice excellent quality control.
“Hey slackers, this one’s empty!”
8. Work hard, party hard, and pay the consequences in the morning.
She definitely shouldn’t have had that last cup of milk.
9. Love the one you’re with.
We don’t know where Eddie’s tongue has been, but Luke doesn’t seem to mind. They say dogs have a sixth sense about people. Eddie peed on Von’s couch the first time they met. They still don’t get along. In Von’s defense, he has never peed on a couch, that I know of.
10. Always have a good backup plan.
“Don’t worry sis, I got this.”